Musings on Beauty

I went down to visit my parents this weekend and attended church with them. As we exited the building, we ran into my mom's choir director and spouse. The choir director said to my mom: "Are those your grandchildren? They are beautiful! What a blessed grandmother you are!"

Now, as a mom, it's such a pleasure to hear compliments on your kids and know that they aren't just beautiful to you. I'd like to say that it doesn't matter to me that my children are pretty, because I value them for their personalities and the things they do, but honestly, it is so nice to hear. What really makes me sad is that it shows me just how much I (and people generally) really value attractiveness. No offense to this sweet sister, but my mom is no more blessed than any grandmother. Yet, if we had to rate blessings, would we rate beauty as a greater blessing than something else? Anne of Green Gables asked Matthew Cuthbert, "Which would you rather be if you had the choice--divinely beautiful, dazzlingly clever, or angelically good?" I'm not sure I can decide between them, mostly because I'd want to say angelically good but that other part of me would say, no! take the beauty!! :)

I do worry that they will base their self-concept too much on their appearance, so I try and compliment them frequently on other things, but I can't help but be concerned. That concern is compounded by the fact that adolescense looms with its accompanying changes, and the impact it has on their self-worth. It definitely wasn't a kind time for me, so I'm hoping to improve upon my own experience for their sake. . .but for now it's all just speculation.

So, if you had to choose, what would you choose? Divinely beautiful, dazzlingly clever, or angelically good?

More from the temple. I tried adding these to the other post and couldn't get it to work for some reason. I am really inept when it comes to these blogs--I have no idea how to add music, how to get really cute backgrounds, how to do slide shows, etc. Then again, I don't really have the desire to find out HOW to do those things either, so there you go. My blog is just bare blog.

So here are some of the results of our attempt to take photos at the temple last month.
Kayla wasn't so cooperative so she doesn't have an individual shot.
90 mins., two trips to the bathroom and twenty shots later. . .
Speaking of photos I still don't have any Easter shots of Camilla.
Poor fourth child. Not a thing to scrapbook for her Easter page.

The Hardest Thing

The school district had a "Fun Run" for all elementary school kids to participate in. I entered Emma because she loves running and thought it would be a good experience. When she came home from school the day of the race, she excitedly changed into her clothes and started doing warm-up exercises. We hurried to get there by the start time of 3:30. It turned out to be a 1 mile run. Parents were invited to run with their kids to help them along if need be, but I wasn't able to run with her because I had the three other girls with me.

To summarize: Emma stuck with it the whole way. She placed 95th officially among the girls, though actually a few places earlier than that since she stopped to talk to me before keeping her place in line to turn in her name id. The first thing she said to me after finishing was, "That was the hardest thing I've ever done in my whole life" amidst crying because her side hurt so bad. She continued, "I thought it was going to be fun, but it wasn't. It was hard." Now she doesn't want to do it next year.

Sigh. How do you encourage your kids to want to push themselves to get better at something that they enjoy? Is it just having the luck of finding what it is they absolutely love, or do you not let them give up at something they enjoy and are good at but don't love enough to do it when it's hard work?

9 month update-Camilla

After a month of standing at the foot of stairs crying, she figured out how to get up the stairs. She also loves to shake her head No at me. She has gotten pretty picky about the foods she likes. She would eat frozen peas before, but now has decided they just aren't her thing and will stick her tongue out of her mouth to keep one from going in. We finally made it to full nights of sleep with no interruptions. What a relief. She loves making messes already--papers on the nightstand, movies on the movie stand, baskets of CDs, you name it.
Adorable as she is, she's the runt of the litter. At her 9 month well check she was just over 16 lbs, so she's still wearing 3-6 month clothes and her head circumference isn't even on the charts for percentiles, and has no teeth whatsoever. She likes to bop along to the songs when we sing as a family. Too cute.

Preschool and Emma

Remember my charity entry? Well, I'm going to add teaching co-op preschool on there. I love the kids, and at the end of the 3 hr craziness I can even admit that it's really not that bad. But, I have to share something from this last Friday.

As background, Abri is part of a 10 child co-op group. (Yes, we're a bit optimistic having that many kids in the group, but it just worked out that way given a few factors related to which kids/families were participating this year.) We had 3 weeks of teaching for each child we had participating in the co-op, two days each week. I just finished my 3 week assignment last Friday. Emma stayed home from school that day.

(As a side note--she had complained that morning before school that her tummy was hurting. It was similar to a time we had had with her two weeks earlier where she stayed home for the same reason but never got sick, so I figured it was the same thing, that she wasn't contagious, and that it's got to be related to allergies/digestion issues that we are working out with her--to reassure any of my friends reading this whose kids came over that day and wondered why she was there at all.)

It was actually pretty great having Emma there to help. She is such a great eldest child--always looking for ways to help. (On the down side, she is quite the little mom already in her reprimands of the little girls, but she really does mean well.) She was quick to think of things to do, even suggesting that we do a W activity where we say sentences to the kids and they have to say which word(s) start with W. She basically gave me that extra pair of hands that really comes in handy when you have so many kids asking for help with glueing, opening lunch items, washing hands, etc.

Well, after all the kids had gone home, Emma asked me, "Mom, are they always that loud?"
Me: "Yep."
Emma, smiling: "Wow, I feel bad for you. . .[then reflectively] I wonder if they are louder than we are."
Me: "Your class?"
Emma: "Yeah. We get pretty loud. I don't know how Mrs Key does it everyday."

Me either. Kudos to teachers. Make a point to thank those teachers in your kids lives. They are awesome.

Exasperation

I was getting out of the shower the other day when I heard a knock on the bathroom door. "Mama!" came Abri's voice.
"Yes?"
"Cami!"
Without even opening up the door to see: "Abri, did you pick her up? You can put her down. I can't get her right now."
Then in exasperation, "I can't take care of her all the time. She'll start crying if I put her down."

Of all the girls, Abri is the one still obsessed with Camilla. She loves picking her up and giving her kisses but she hates when Camilla cries and often picks her up when I am not as responsive as she thinks I should be. Kayla tolerates her. Emma helps with her when I ask but doesn't generally volunteer.