I went down to visit my parents this weekend and attended church with them. As we exited the building, we ran into my mom's choir director and spouse. The choir director said to my mom: "Are those your grandchildren? They are beautiful! What a blessed grandmother you are!"
Now, as a mom, it's such a pleasure to hear compliments on your kids and know that they aren't just beautiful to you. I'd like to say that it doesn't matter to me that my children are pretty, because I value them for their personalities and the things they do, but honestly, it is so nice to hear. What really makes me sad is that it shows me just how much I (and people generally) really value attractiveness. No offense to this sweet sister, but my mom is no more blessed than any grandmother. Yet, if we had to rate blessings, would we rate beauty as a greater blessing than something else? Anne of Green Gables asked Matthew Cuthbert, "Which would you rather be if you had the choice--divinely beautiful, dazzlingly clever, or angelically good?" I'm not sure I can decide between them, mostly because I'd want to say angelically good but that other part of me would say, no! take the beauty!! :)
I do worry that they will base their self-concept too much on their appearance, so I try and compliment them frequently on other things, but I can't help but be concerned. That concern is compounded by the fact that adolescense looms with its accompanying changes, and the impact it has on their self-worth. It definitely wasn't a kind time for me, so I'm hoping to improve upon my own experience for their sake. . .but for now it's all just speculation.
So, if you had to choose, what would you choose? Divinely beautiful, dazzlingly clever, or angelically good?
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About Me
- Leanne
- English BA degree, member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, wife, mother of 4 girls
3 comments:
I totally understand your point. Beauty is very valued in our society (well, actually, it's been valued over the centuries, too). However, I'm not awesome enough to want to be angelically good. I'd have to go with dazzlingly clever. I would love to be super-smart. Especially if I could keep the way I look now. I'm used to it, after all. ^_~
My experience tells me that goodness improves one's beauty. People are always better looking (to me) when they are nice, good, loving people. Hopefully I can instill the goodness part in my kids. :)
I think I would choose the dazzlingly clever because you can always choose to be good, and beauty fades. Smart stays with you. :)
well, after all of those "dazzlingly clever" remarks i would say angelically good. Even if being dazzlingly clever were given to me I'm sure I'd find a way to stick my foot in my mouth. Goodness I can count on.
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